


secret for the mad

by SpectresWonderland



Series: Trans Ricky [1]
Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bonding, CHAPTER TWO TAGS:, Chapter One tags:, Chapter Three Tags:, Coming Out, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Love Confessions, Trans Male Character, Trans Ricky Bowen (HSM: The Series)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:19:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22190149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpectresWonderland/pseuds/SpectresWonderland
Summary: “You don’t have to say anything, I-I get it if you don’t wanna-““Stop, please, just let me talk okay?”“...okay.”
Relationships: Gina Porter/Nini Salazar-Roberts, Ricky Bowen/E.J. Caswell
Series: Trans Ricky [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615576
Comments: 11
Kudos: 111





	1. there are a hundred people who will listen to you cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ricky doesn’t know.

Junior year had been... confusing as hell for Ricky. He spent the year chasing after Nini, but in the end, that wasn’t who he wanted. He hadn’t realized he wanted E.J. until after act one when he confronted him in the dressing room. He realized he wanted E.J. after he met the boy’s eyes during the bows and they sat next to eachother at Denny’s 

He found _something_ in the boy that made his heart skip a beat, something that made him feel safe with E.J. Something that he didn’t feel for Nini anymore.

The Spring musical, Bonnie and Clyde, came around finally, the whole theatre club missing Nini terribly since she transferred to the conservatory. The show only brought Ricky and E.J. closer though, but they never defined what was going on between them. All they knew they were was lingering touches after rehearsals, soft looks and gentle teasing. But Ricky knew he wanted more.

The bigger problem though, E.J. didn’t know. E.J. had no clue what Ricky was hiding under his clothes, and Ricky had no clue how to tell him.

One evening however, the two stayed late after a rehearsal to run lines one on one, and that’s all that was on Ricky’s mind. 

They only have one scene together, so things are over quick, E.J. snapping out his final line.

_“Drop the gun.”_

In his head, the gun goes off and Ricky cringes slightly.

E.J. seems to notice, and looks at Ricky with concern, “Are you... okay?”

The junior dismisses it with a nod, “Yeah, I’m just not a fan of this scene,” he explained shortly.

Ricky could tell that’s not the answer E.J. was looking for though.

“No, I mean, all day you’ve been acting off, we’ve all noticed.”

_Shit._

Ricky tried to play it off cool, “What? Really, I’m fine.”

“Ricky, you’re shaking,” E.J started, matter-of-factly.

_Double shit._

He hasn’t even noticed he was shaking until that moment, looking down at his own hands.

God, he really couldn’t be doing this right now. He was fine, really. He was going to be _fine._

“Listen, I know we didn’t get off on the right foot earlier this year, but now that we’re friends, I don’t want you being afraid of tell-“

“I’m trans!” Ricky blurted out.

_Triple shit._

He didn’t mean to say it, he _really_ didn't mean to say it. Not now, not here, not fucking-

“What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi yes, uhhhhh, I was ranting to someone that I haven’t seen many trans Ricky AUs and they told me “why don’t you do it yourself?” 
> 
> so here.


	2. promise you it'll all make sense again

” _What?”_

E.J. didn’t mean for the word to come out like it did. He wasn’t upset, he was just... taken aback.

Once he saw the fear in Ricky’s eyes, he regretted what said immediately.

“Sh-Shit, E.J. I’m- I shouldn’t have-“

E.J. could tell Ricky was panicking, but he had no clue how he was supposed to help. “Ricky-“ He started, but got cut off when Ricky kept rambling, standing up and fumbling for his things.

“I-I’m sorry- I’m sorry, it was in the heat of the moment, you-you probably _hate_ me now-“ 

_“Ricky,”_ E.J. insisted, effectively silencing the other boy, catching him in his tracks, “Stop and _breathe_ for a second, I’m not gonna kill you or anything, just.. talk to me alright?”

Ricky looked like he was about to cry, God, E.J. was surprised he wasn’t. The curly haired boy turned to face E.J., but didn’t look up at him. “I’m... I’m trans E.J. .” 

“Okay?” E.J. responded, arching an eyebrow, “Who else knows?” 

He seemed to hesitate, “Just Nini and Big Red,” He murmured, “Not even Miss Jenn, God, y-you gotta promise that you won’t tell her, or anyone, _please,_ if she finds out, then she’s gonna regret casting me as Clyde and-“

E.J. stopped him before he got too far, “Ricky stop. You make a great Clyde, she cast you as Clyde, _and_ as Troy because you’re a great actor. Plus, I’m not that much of an asshole,” he snorted.

Ricky finally looked E.J. in the eye, and E.J. could finally see the tears forming in his eyes. Before E.J. could say anything more, the other boy practically launched himself at him, pulling him into a close hug, “Thank you,” he mumbled, “ _Thank you.”_

The senior hesitated, before hugging Ricky back, wrapping his arms around the boy, “It’s common human decency really,” He said simply, “Anybody who isn’t a piece of shit would do the same.”

After a few moments, Ricky pulled away, wiping tears away before looking directly at E.J. with a weak smile, “Oh so you’re that one piece of shit that isn’t transphobic?”

E.J. snickered at that, shoving Ricky playfully, “Yep, totally.”

“You’ll always be a piece of shit to me,” Ricky teased.

“Yeah? Does that still warrant you busting my lip with a basketball?”

Ricky flushed with embarrassment, “Hey! You know that was an accident!” He laughed, running a hand through his own hair.

“You were mad at me for ‘stealing’ Nini from you,” E.J. snorted, grinning at E.J.

“Nah, I’m pretty sure I was mad because it wasn’t her that I _wanted,”_ Ricky mentioned offhandedly.

When E.J. processed Ricky’s comment, he froze, “H-Huh?”

Ricky was equally frozen, “Shit, I-I really need to stop talking..” He mumbled turning a darker red.

“No no, I think... you should keep going. If it wasn’t Nini, who did you want?”

E.J. was surprised when Ricky _laughed._

 _“_ I didn’t realize you were that dense E.J.”

“What? Ricky I don’t- _oh,”_ It finally clicked in E.J.’s head, Ricky wanted _him._


	3. the world will show you that you won't regret it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You like me?”
> 
> Ricky gave a small nod.
> 
> “Why? That’s like, a horrible idea, really.”

Ricky watched E.J.’s expression change as he realized what he had meant.

“Yeah...” Ricky chuckled weakly, internally panicking at the anticipation of E.J.’s reaction. A thought crossed his mind that maybe this was a little much to unload on E.J. at once. But before he could think too hard, E.J. spoke up.

“You like me?”

Ricky gave a small nod.

“ _Why_? That’s like, a horrible idea, really.”

The younger boy flushed a soft red, “I don’t know why, you’re just, _you_ I guess.”

E.J. cracked a small grin, and Ricky practically melted, “You’re the one who called me a piece of shit.”

“A piece of shit that _isn’t_ transphobic,” Ricky corrected with a laugh.

“Ah, the only valid piece of shit, E.J. snorted.

Ricky found himself looking E.J. over, taking in every inch of his face. The way his eyebrows raised when he was laughing, and way the corner of his eyes crinkled too, and his lips. Damn, they were.. really nice.

“Ricky? You’re staring.”

That broke him out of his little trance, snapping him back to reality and turning an even darker red, “S-Sorry...”

E.J. shook his head, “No, don’t apologize, it was actually kinda cute.”

Ricky’s brain shortcircuted at that. E.J. thought he was cute? Holy _shit,_ “Wh-What?”

“You’re cute Bowen, I called you cute,” E.J. responded with a laugh.

Ricky was absolutely annihilated. He covered his face with his hands, “You really just did that,” he mumbled

“You get flustered so easily,” E.J. snickered, grinning slightly.

“I have absolutely _no_ idea what you’re talking about E.J.,” Ricky insisted, looking up at him again.

“Your face,” He snorted, “Is _so_ damn red.”

Ricky grumbled, “Don’t pretend you didn’t do this to me _Elijah.”_

“Oh wow, you really went there _Richard.”_

Ricky had found out E.J.’s name a few months after High School Musical ended, and he’d taken to using it to his advantage. Ricky’s own name wasn’t much of a secret though, most of the cast had known it, Nini, of course, but nobody really brought it up. Until Ricky started using E.J.’s name to tease, E.J. had no use for calling him ‘Richard’.

“Hey, it’s a nice name isn’t it? Picked it myself,” Ricky laughed.

“How long have you been waiting to make that joke?”

“Oh you have _no_ idea.”

The two fell into a comfortable laughter, until E.J. spoke up again, “So, this saturday, so you maybe wanna do something? Like uh, a date?”

Ricky gave a gentle smile, “I’d love that.”

He kept himself calm and collected as they made plans, but as soon as Ricky got home, he facetimed Nini, finding himself relieved when her face popped up on his screen. She didn’t even get a ‘hello’ in, before he started speaking. “Nini I need your help,  _ please _ .”

Nini looked instantly concerned,”Is everything okay?”

Ricky knew he probably looked like a kicked puppy right now, “I think I’m going on a date?” 

“You think?”

“With E.J.…”

Her eyebrow arched, “Oh? How did that happen?”

“It happened because I didn’t know when to  _ shut up _ ,” Ricky groaned in response, “We were going over our scene together, and he called me out about how weird I’ve been acting lately because of.. Y’know,” he mumbled, continuing on, “And next thing I knew, I came out to him and told him that I had like, a massive crush on him,”

“Jesus, you’re the textbook definition of ‘disaster bi’,” Nini said, shaking her head, “And you’re nervous about going on a date with him?”

“Extremely,” He whined.

Nini sighed, giving a small laugh, along with a supportive smile, “Well, when and where?”

Ricky thought back to earlier and smiled softly, “We’re seeing Cats __ this saturday .”

“Cats? Like, the new movie?” 

“Yeah, E.J. thought it was a good idea since Miss Jenn’s been hinting on that as the fall show for next year.” 

She looked shocked, “Yeah, but _Cats?_ Ricky, you do remember what happened at The Greatest Showman right?” 

“Well, that was before I got into theatre,” He explained, “I...really wanna see it with him, but I’m scared as hell.”

“Ricky?” 

“Yeah?” He asked

“You’re going to be _fine.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the boys are going on a date!


End file.
